Laura (lostrune) wrote,

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fucking shit

so it is safe to say I am a fuck up...
I had planned on having a talk with Greg tonight, we had plans dinner and a movie..
he made the plans himself, I mean I agreed but it was his idea to do something tonight and he picked it..
So I go and pick him up and he tells me he had forgotten that Shane was out getting him something to eat while we were on the phone.
So there went dinner, then we had already decided that there was nothing on the theaters around here we wanted to see, so we were going to rent a movie...
We went to hastings
he couldn't find anything he wanted to watch, So I got Memoirs of a Geisha, and I asked him to read the backs of two movies, the Constant Gardener, and a new Johnny Depp movie he said no to the Johnny Depp one, and he said he hadn't heard anything about the other, I asked if it sounded good, he said " I mean yeah the back of it sounded good, but I mean, I don't know if I will like it.

So at that point I felt it was a hopeless cause this night.
I ended up getting both movies anyway, and then asked him if he was hungry because he had said that whatever it was that Shane got was the only thing he had eaten all day and by the time I got there it had been two hours ago or so.
And he said "yeah I mean I could eat"
I told him that didn't answer my question so I went to the Greek restaurant, food was good service was SHIT, I mean SHIT!!! it was so bad that I didn't tip....
almost unheard of...
so that put me in a worse mood...
we came back here laid around for a bit trying to move again after stuffing ourselves silly...
and so Greg gets on the computer, for he said 30 I dunno seemed longer to me but hey, I can't argue cause I dunno...
and I turned into that bitch, you know the one hiding inside me..
and I told him if that was what he wanted to do he should have just stayed home....
which pissed him off...
and he went home.
I tried to apologize for it, I tried to talk to him about it.
but he wasn't having any of that...He didn't want to talk to me.
he said he would call Shane to come get him...which he didn't I offered to take him home...which I did.
in the driveway he tells me he is sorry he ruined my Saturday night, but he loves me...
I just glared at him, I don't know why, because he didn't understand what I meant by he could stay at home to play on the computer, that spending time with me had to included me.
that he didn't' want to try and talk about it, just wanted to leave.
and when I tried to talk about it, he told me he was sorry I felt that way....
I guess it was just everything built up into that moment.
I didn't want to try and say I love you too...mainly because, I was mad, and I know that if you don't work out the problems you have they just get worse.
I have yet to resolve anything with Greg, I feel like he is a marathon runner.
fucking fast and does it a lot.
well I have managed to make things worse, when I had planned to be open and honest with him and talk to him about what the fuck ever is wrong with me.........
hah, guess I don't have to worry about that talk now...
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